“Fell that? It’s broken. “
I’m mad at the world. I’m even madder at myself. For having faith in people, for being such an easy prey – in this world, where there’s only the h(a)unter and the h(a)unted.
Bitter tears won’t make things right. Not even regrets, so why bother to have them? These deeds are merely recorded in some registry and then you are sent on your way. Time follows its’ normal path. And you grow, collect memories and wrinkles and eventually die. No one asks you whether you want it or not. When that pale figure in its’ black cloak comes to you, you know that was your final goodbye.
“Wake the nightmares in my head..”
I told myself that so many times. And so many times I fooled myself, mixing an imaginary world with this cruel reality. What’s wrong or right for me isn’t for you and my life is somebody elses’ fairytale or drama scene.
“Doubt truth to be a liar”
And somehow nightmares-living or (un)dead, keep you going. The fear they are able to enhance tell you something isn’t right and make you search for another place, a temporary sanctum.
“Stau singur şi mă duce-un gând spre locuinţele lacustre”
I’m emotive. I know I am. You told me so many times and it has been proven in so many ways. It’s obvious I’m affected by some things thaht others wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow to. But hey, that’s me-the whole sequence of events in my life that made me this way-and I cannot turn back to change it, even if I’d want to.
I know that every letter, pause or point written here is a result of my thoughts, frustrations, ideals.
Just give me the truth-I’m old enough to handle it. But do not expect me to thank you for that shot behind my back.
It’s all a matter of time, I’m sure of it. It always was, no matter how impossible some things appeared in the past-I should know.
‘I’m sorry, the contact you are searching for is temporarily out.’
I need a break. And a tea to go with that. It’s time I believe, to do something that’s good for me. Take two steps backwards, thank you.
Some things did happen despite my will, even if I was the one that threw the first stone..
‘Feed on me I’ve got fuel for ages that you will steal against all odds
Feed on me and then close the cages-we are just energy for the gods’
Bringing things to their backbone, it’s all like in those ancient games. When placed in battle, it doesn’t matter how much, less, how careful or ignorant, how guilty or innocent you were. It’s there and now, you against yourself, guns thrown and a battle to the death. What part of you shall win?
“I haven’t had everything from life. I had enough.”
